"Blackbirds are only good at two things: singing in the dead of night, and snapping off your nose."
Pointing at a painting of Thomas Jefferson:
"This president looks a lot like my Memaw."
Gage: Can I have a snake when I turn 15?
Me: Yeah. Sure.
(A couple hours later....)
Gage: Actually, I want to go ahead and get my snake when I turn 6. I might forget if I wait until I'm 15.
"You know, a sad thing about going to Chuck E. Cheese is that you make all these great friends. And then you never see them again."
Gage: Do we get out of school on Valentine's Day?
Gage: Then what is the point of that being a holiday?
To our neighbor:
"I'll invite you to the wedding place when I get married. But I'm not going to be marrying you, so don't be getting any ideas."
Gage and the girl we take to school somehow got in a conversation about babies.
MJ: Well, in animals babies come from their mommy's bottoms. But in people it comes out of their belly.
Gage: You are wrong. Babies come out of the mommy's penis.
Me: Actually, girls don't have a penis.
Gage: Yeah, ok. Whatever is opposite of a penis. I can never remember weird stuff.