"For Christmas next year I only want one thing. I want this balloon, that I named Gage, to come to life and talk to me. It's the only thing I want. And I know it will happen because I believe in Christmas magic."
Gage: Do you want to play with me?
Gage: Well, you are going to be my friend. Whether you like it or not.
"Mommy, is daddy going to give you an anniversary spanking?"
Me: Well, it looks like it might snow flurries on Thursday. But the temperature isn't below freezing, so it won't stick.
Gage: What about if I put some glue in the yard? Would that help any?
"I've been doing a lot of thinking about what I want to be. And I think I might want to be some kind of rescue hero. Or an angry bird."
Gage: Sometimes at school when we play they make me be the bad guy, but I only want to be the good guy.
Me: What guy were you yesterday?
Gage: Well, they said I was Devil Man. So I guess I was a good guy.
Owsley ripped his paper car from Steak N Shake.
Owsley: Car need go to car wash.
Gage: Yeah, if by 'car wash' you actually mean 'garbage.'
Me: I read on this treasure map that only kids who don't whine have a chance at finding the hidden treasure.
Gage: OH No! That means there is absolutely no hope for me!
Owsley: I draw happy face.