I have a big problem with 'foot in mouth' syndrome. I always have. Nothing is ever intended to be mean-spirited though. It's just that my mind thinks some pretty unusual things, and there seems to be no filter between my brain and my mouth. And I'm a pretty quick witted person, so at times I can find myself in trouble if I don't think before I speak. Especially when I don't know the person too well, and they don't realize most of what I say is in jest.
I can only think of one time in my life that I intentionally said something rude to someone, and I am pulling the pregnancy card on that incident. We were in the parking lot of Five Guys, and Gage *barely* opened the door of our car into some beat up car next to us. Peppy profusely apologized, but this stupid redneck kept calling him a punk and going off on him. So I dropped an f bomb on the guy, which is insane considering I don't even curse. (That's why I'm chalking it up to pregnancy hormones.) As we drove away, the crazy guy was running across the parking lot, flipping us off with both hands. Peppy and I couldn't stop laughing and he couldn't get over what I had said to the guy. (I don't even send back my food when it's wrong, that's how passive I am and how much I don't want to hurt someone's feelings.)
But anyway, that's not the point of this post. I tend to have a problem with saying the wrong thing at really inappropriate times, and I just can't seem to help it. There are a handful of these moments that I still remember, and my face burns just thinking about them. Starting from the earliest to the most recent, let me share some of these with you. (And let me warn you that they get increasingly worse as I get older.)
1. Eight years old, shopping with my grandmother. We went into a store that belonged to a friend of hers. It was filled with porcelain dolls and tea sets, stuff that I just wasn't into at all. Grandmother's friend asked me if there was anything that I liked, and without hesitating I said, "Nope. Not at all." And while I was being honest, the look on the lady's face clearly stated that she thought I was the most rude little girl she had ever met. I tried to cover it up by saying, "Uhh...But that's because I haven't had a chance to look around." But it was too late.
2. Twelve years old at the dentist's office. The hygienist checking out my teeth mentions that I have gotten bigger since the last time she saw me. Without missing a beat, I said, "Yeah. You really have too." Oops.
3. Junior High, lunch line. It's pizza day. I was talking to my friend who had a kind of bad acne problem at the time. She said something to me, I don't remember what, but my reply was, "Ok. Sure, pizza face." I can still see the hurt in her eyes. And I promise you 100% that I didn't even think about HER face when I said that. Sometimes random word vomit comes out of my mouth. You can ask Peppy. He's lived with me long enough to know that the stuff I say is insane.
4. Senior year of high school. A couple friends and I would make jokes about how we were uhhh....'dating' each others dads. One of my friends said something snarky to me, and I said, "Oh, well that's not what your dad said last night." Might not sound so bad, right? Well, her dad had died two weeks before. :-/ I apologized profusely and she promised me it was ok. But still, I can't think about that incident without feeling like a tool.
And now. When Peppy and I started dating we would banter back and forth and his comeback was always "Your mom wears combat boots." Whatever that is supposed to mean. So I would say, "Your mom wears stripper boots." Well over the years it has just shortened down to us saying, "Your mom" back and forth. I can't tell you how many times I have had to close my mouth mid statement since Suzie passed away. I've definitely been having to recondition a bad habit over here.
I guess that's why I like blogging so much. Even if I do think of something to say, I can actually think about it and backspace if it's really inappropriate.